To vs De in Japanese: と (With Someone) vs で (Using Something)

You want to tell a friend “I’m going to the station with Ken.” Later, you want to say “I’m going to the station by bus.” English marks these ideas with small words such as “with” and “by,” and sometimes one word covers both: you can eat with a friend and eat with chopsticks. Japanese separates the two ideas:

1. ケンさんとえきにいきますKen-san to eki ni ikimasu.I’m going to the station with Ken.
2. バスでえきにいきますBasu de eki ni ikimasu.I’m going to the station by bus.

The short answer

と (to) marks the person you do something together with. で (de) marks the means or tool you use to do it. Each one closes its own chunk:

1. ケンさんとKen-san towith Ken
2. バスでbasu deby bus

Both may correspond to English “with” or “by,” but they answer different questions.

Two questions decide it every time. Who is doing this with me? Use と (to). What am I using to do this? Use で (de).

と marks who you do it with

Imagine you are going to a café with a friend. The friend, ともだち (tomodachi), takes と, which here means “with”:

The useful pattern is person + と + action, and it works for any shared activity: studying with Ken, eating with a friend, or going somewhere with your family.

1. ケンさんとべんきょうしますKen-san to benkyou shimasu.I study with Ken.
2. ともだちとたべますTomodachi to tabemasu.I eat with a friend.
3. かぞくといきますKazoku to ikimasu.I go with my family.

In each sentence, と (to) tells us who participates in the action with you.

You will also meet と in two related jobs. It can join nouns as “A and B,” as in ケンさんとわたし (Ken-san to watashi), “Ken and me,” which と vs や in Japanese: How to Say “And” When Listing Things explains. And with verbs such as けっこんします (kekkon shimasu), “get married,” it marks the partner the action needs: ケンさんとけっこんします (Ken-san to kekkon shimasu), “I’m marrying Ken.”

で marks the means or tool

Now imagine you are travelling to school by bus. The bus is not your companion; it is the means you use to travel, so it takes で:

The useful pattern is means or tool + で + action. Any form of transport fits:

1. でんしゃでいきますDensha de ikimasu.I go by train.
2. じてんしゃでいきますJitensha de ikimasu.I go by bicycle.

Transportation is only one common use, so do not memorize で = by bus/train. The broader idea is that で marks the means used to perform an action. Chopsticks are a tool for eating, so they take で even though English says “with”:

A language works the same way when it is what you use to communicate:

The same English “with” can need different particles

Put a companion and a tool side by side and the difference becomes visible. English uses “with” in both of these sentences; Japanese does not:

1. ケンさんとたべますKen-san to tabemasu.I eat with Ken.
2. はしでたべますHashi de tabemasu.I eat with chopsticks.

Ken is a participant, so he is ケンさんと (Ken-san to). The chopsticks are a tool, so they are はしで (hashi de). The same contrast shows up in the past tense:

1. ともだちとたべましたTomodachi to tabemashita.I ate with a friend.
2. はしでたべましたHashi de tabemashita.I ate with chopsticks.

The first “with” means together with another participant; the second means using a tool. Speaking follows the same rule: と answers “who with?” and で answers “using what language?”

1. ともだちとはなしますTomodachi to hanashimasu.I speak with a friend.
2. にほんごではなしますNihongo de hanashimasu.I speak in Japanese.

Do not choose the Japanese particle by translating the English word “with.” Choose it by asking what relationship you mean.

One sentence can use both

Because the particles mark different relationships, a sentence can need both. Suppose you are travelling to Tokyo with a friend by train:

Break it into its chunks:

1. ともだちとtomodachi towith a friend
2. でんしゃでdensha deby train
3. とうきょうにToukyou nito Tokyo
4. いきますikimasugo / will go

The sentence tells us who you are going with (ともだちと), how you are travelling (でんしゃで), and where you are going (とうきょうに).

The particles do not compete. Each marks a different relationship.

The same is true of study. “I study Japanese with Ken using a computer” needs a companion, a tool, and the thing studied:

1. ケンさんとパソコンでにほんごをべんきょうしますKen-san to pasokon de nihongo o benkyou shimasu.I study Japanese with Ken using a computer.
2. ケンさんとKen-san towith Ken
3. パソコンでpasokon deusing a computer
4. にほんごをnihongo oJapanese (the thing studied)
5. べんきょうしますbenkyou shimasustudy

There is no reason to choose between と and で here because the sentence needs both relationships.

Ask who with and by what means

The two particles also shape the questions. A friend asks who you are going with, and you answer with a person and と:

1. だれといきますかDare to ikimasu ka.Who are you going with?
2. ケンさんといきますKen-san to ikimasu.I’m going with Ken.

Then they ask how you are getting there, and you answer with a vehicle and で:

1. なにでいきますかNani de ikimasu ka.How are you going? / By what means are you going?
2. バスでいきますBasu de ikimasu.I’m going by bus.

In speech, なにで is sometimes said なんで (nande). Because なんで can also mean “why,” you will often hear どうやっていきますか (Dou yatte ikimasu ka), “How are you getting there?”, when someone asks about transport.

You can combine both answers into one line:

In casual speech, each question and answer can shrink to just the chunk itself:

1. だれと？Dare to?With whom?
2. ケンさんとKen-san to.With Ken.
3. なにで？Nani de?By what means? / Using what?
4. バスでBasu de.By bus.

Common mistakes

Using と for a vehicle

If you mean “I go by train,” use で:

Do not say でんしゃといきます。 (Densha to ikimasu.)

That would treat the train as something accompanying you, like “I go together with the train,” rather than marking it as your means of transportation.

For transportation, ask How am I travelling? If the answer is “by train,” “by bus,” or another means of travel, で (de) is the particle you need in this pattern.

Using で for a companion

If you mean “I go with Ken,” use と:

Not ケンさんでいきます。 (Ken-san de ikimasu.) That does not mean “with Ken” here. Ken is not the means by which you travel. He is the person accompanying you.

で after people usually does a different job. It can say who makes up the group, as in ふたりでいきます (futari de ikimasu), “The two of us will go,” and in some contexts it can present someone as your choice. Neither is the companion meaning you want here.

Compare the companion and the means side by side:

1. ケンさんといきますKen-san to ikimasu.I go with Ken.
2. バスでいきますBasu de ikimasu.I go by bus.

A person accompanying you takes と. A means of travel takes で.

Forgetting that で also marks where an action happens

You may already know sentences such as this one from What Are Japanese Particles?, where で marks the place where the studying happens:

Place で is also easy to mix up with を, which marks a place you move through. Compare the two in を vs で in Japanese: Walking Through a Park vs Doing Something There.

Here are three sentences about studying: a place with で, a companion with と, and a tool with で.

1. がっこうでべんきょうしますGakkou de benkyou shimasu.I study at school.
2. ともだちとべんきょうしますTomodachi to benkyou shimasu.I study with a friend.
3. パソコンでべんきょうしますPasokon de benkyou shimasu.I study using a computer.

The particle で can do more than one job, but none of these examples make it interchangeable with companion と.

Practise と and で

Choose the right particle

Choose と (to) or で (de) for each gap.

1. I go with a friend: ともだち ___ いきます。 (Tomodachi ___ ikimasu.)
2. I go by bus: バス ___ いきます。 (Basu ___ ikimasu.)
3. I eat with chopsticks: はし ___ たべます。 (Hashi ___ tabemasu.)
4. I eat with Ken: ケンさん ___ たべます。 (Ken-san ___ tabemasu.)

Answers

1. と, because the friend is your companion:

2. で, because the bus is your means of transportation:

3. で, because chopsticks are the tool:

4. と, because Ken is another participant:

Fix the particle

Each sentence uses the wrong particle for its meaning. ケンさんでいきます does not mean “I go with Ken,” because で does not mark a companion:

でんしゃといきます sounds like “I go together with the train”:

はしとたべます (Hashi to tabemasu) sounds like “I eat together with the chopsticks,” as if they were your companions:

ともだちでべんきょうします does not mean “with a friend,” because で does not mark a companion:

Build a complete sentence

You want to say “I go to Tokyo with Ken by train.” Build it one chunk at a time: the companion, the means, the destination, and finally the action.

1. ケンさんとKen-san towith Ken
2. でんしゃでdensha deby train
3. とうきょうにToukyou nito Tokyo
4. いきますikimasugo / will go

Put together, the chunks make one sentence:

Now change one piece at a time. Swap the companion for a friend, then swap the train for a bus:

1. ともだちとでんしゃでとうきょうにいきますTomodachi to densha de Toukyou ni ikimasu.I’m going to Tokyo with a friend by train.
2. ともだちとバスでとうきょうにいきますTomodachi to basu de Toukyou ni ikimasu.I’m going to Tokyo with a friend by bus.

The particle changes according to the job of the noun before it.

Keep this in mind

Do not translate English “with” directly. Ask what the noun is doing in the situation. Is it someone participating in the action with you? Use と (to):

Is it the means or tool used to perform the action? Use で (de):

And if you need both, use both:

That is the key distinction: と = who with, and で = how / using what.

Continue learning

If で is confusing because it can also mark where an action happens, compare it with に in に vs で: Choosing the Right Japanese Place Particle.

For destinations with movement verbs such as いきます (ikimasu), continue with へ vs に in Japanese: Which Particle Means “To”?.

To see how these pieces fit into a complete sentence, review Basic Japanese Sentence Order: Put the Action at the End.